Find Him
by Julibellule
Summary: Starts right into the action of 4x10-Midnight. Rose is with the Doctor, married and telepathically bonded, and gives everything she has to save him.


****I always wondered what exactly was the creature that possessed Sky and the Doctor in the episode 4x10-Midnight. So I wrote my own idea on the subject. ****

**Trigger Warning: It is not always pretty butterflies and rainbows inside the sociopathic mind of a beast that've been alone for far too long so this chapter his not suited for children.**

**(This is seen from Rose's perspective, who is still traveling with the Doctor, married and bonded telepathically with him.)**

"They've completely separated," Jethro stated.

"It's in him, now," Biff spat, "don't you see? I said it was him all the time."

"No!" I cried out and moved in front of the man I loved, where Sky used to be. He was staring right through me, his eyes unfocused and haunted, wide open and petrified with terror. He was stuck in his body, trapped in her cold world. "Doctor, look at me, please," but I knew it was in vain.

"He can't hear you, Rose," Sky told me. Well, she would know since she's the one who did this to him. But I wasn't ready to believe her. There was a way; there must be a way to get him back.

"He… can't… hear… you…" the Doctor's body shuddered, "Rose."

And, just there, in the way he said my name; as if it was the only word he didn't have to struggle to keep in. He said it like he always used to say it not as if he was just repeating it. Those two syllables really came from him. He was calling for me. He was still there and I had to find a way to get to him and bring him back.

"She's free!" Val gaped when Sky came to stand among them, "she's been saved!"

"Oh, it was so cold!" Sky sighed.

"Oh… it was… so cold," the Doctor strained to swallow back the imposed sentence.

"I couldn't breathe."

"I couldn't… breathe," another tear fell down my Time Lord's eye. Now, he was the one trapped in a cold world where he couldn't breathe.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," she stole his line.

"I'm sorry…" his voice squeaked with so much emotion. This was not the emotionless and monotonous tone Sky had use while copying us. This was clearly my Doctor coerced to talk against his will, "I'm so… so… sorry."

"I must have scared you so much!" Sky faked her apology and Val fell in her arms to comfort her.

"I… must've… scared you… so much."

At this point, I had only one thing in mind, one sole purpose; my husband was still in there… I needed to get to him, and bring him back. Nothing else mattered and the rest of the world vanished as I focused my gaze in his unfocused one.

Find him, and bring him back!

And I knew where to find him.

Without any other thought, I grabbed his head between my hands and brought my forehead against his. His labored breath caressed my lips, warm air that tasted like him. I looked purposefully into his eyes before letting myself drown in his soul, "I'm here. 'm never gonna leave you."

My eyes closed and everything went cold, oddly cold. My mind was generally not a cold place and this felt unfamiliar. I was use to a warm and welcoming haven of peace when diving into myself. Regardless of the dark chill mucking about in my head, I immediately went for my husband's blue light, for this part of himself he entrusted into me.

I searched for this link we've been forging since our first night together. It usually was so easy to reach, always on the surface of my mind, but now he was so far away. I could feel him, in the distance, like a storm scratching the horizon and thundering it's fury on a faraway land; a remote scent of moist grass and electric warmth breezing its way to me.

But no matter how long I walked toward his essence, he always seemed out of grasp and all the efforts I put into finding him only brought me further into the depths of my own mind.

Instead of finding his light, I found something dark baring a stench of death; a forsaken soul lurking above all living things that crossed his territory. I realised, then, that the creature had already forged a link inside everyone's head, instilling panic and anger into our souls. Without our noticing, it had infiltrated the most recluse parts of our beings, waiting for the right moment to take over our remaining sanity.

"It's inside his head," I heard Sky's voice resonate all around me; the darkness surrounded my light, my head filling with the nauseous fragrance of its toxic hold.

"It's… inside his head," a throbbing pain came in waves from my link to the Doctor as he was forced to repeat.

"No! Stop it, let him go!" I yelled but was only answered by the gloom thickening on me like clotting blood. I fought through this dense nothingness, trying to see a light that was supposed to shine, like blue hope. I realised I was beginning to fade. Was that even possible? I wasn't even safe inside my own head.

Fear clenched at my guts, I needed to find him quick. I needed to get out of here, before I got lost or worst, before I completely disappeared. But, then, I would never leave without him.

"It killed the driver," I heard Sky continued to vibrate the power of her words, drilling them into my skull. And I saw it, in some kind of horrible flashback; the pilot's cabin being ripped apart and its occupants' body boiling before disintegrating into the bright oblivion of Midnight's atmosphere.

"It… killed… the driver," the Doctor tried so hard to stop the words from getting out. He was fighting against the images, the memories and the feelings this creature shared with him. I felt his constant struggle in dividing this stupor from the tangible reality, separating what was him with what came from the thing.

"And the mechanic," the feeling hit me with more force then before; fright so intense with facing such a gruesome end. I heard the last gurgles of life escaping the mechanic's blistered lips as if they were mine and the sound rippled beneath my skin. The awareness of how he felt seconds before his death made me sick and the underlying contempt the creature conveyed into the mix was even more horrific.

"And… the mechanic," my Time Lord was on the verge of breaking. I was already so weak under the constant strain the beast pressed over my mind and he had been stuck in this world a lot longer than me. The darkness was so heavy upon my essence but I continued to struggle forward.

"And now it want's us," I couldn't hear what the other passengers had to answer to that, I already had trouble understanding what was going on in my own head. Everything was so fuzzy, my thoughts dissolving before I even had time to understand them.

It got even colder and my soul shivered, getting weaker and weaker with each step I took; always deeper inside of me, closer to where the creature had settled its lair, closer to where my link with the Time Lord was held captive.

"Doctor," I squirmed through the nothingness and, finally, I caught a glimpse of him. "Doctor!" I kept whispering towards him. This glimmer of hope helped me remember why I was crawling forward in this stinging obscurity. I had a purpose: Find him and bring him back.

"And now… it wants… us," his light shimmered from the agony of his struggle. He was fading, but then, he was just there, I could almost touch him, pull him to me; so cold, and hurt, and lost, and alone, for so long…

I hold on to him, surrounded the small light that he was with mine, "Doctor."

"He's waited so long," so long… an eternity… timelessly… forever…

The overwhelming, screeching woman's voice brought with it the weight of the words it whispered. And on those words, time seemed to vanish, mixing between day and night and an everlasting perpetuity of desolation. No end and no beginning, I was a meaningless mass of energy drifting without purpose, aimlessly clinging to this little, battered, blue and luminescent pearl.

Someone told me once that words had power. I never understood the length of what it meant until now. Each spoken words brought with them lifetimes of memories and conveyed long dead energies still lingering in each sound they bare. The sounds of the universe, one may use to communicate, stay engraved on our psyche and have the power to turn thoughts into actions, into matter.

I was floating in a black void and this rattling voice, that seemed to be filling it, was casting its spell on me; molding who I was upon its own wishes, with its own words.

"He's... waited… so long."

It made me cry out once more; stunned by the scorching sting the blue light nuzzled into my warmth was sending me in the fading form of a man's voice. I almost dropped it on impulse but then I noticed how much this little shiny bead felt like a part of me compare to all this darkness that was aggressively trying to rip my wholeness apart.

I loved this little glimmer, even though I wasn't sure what it was anymore. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. I couldn't remember who I was, I didn't know where this light I was hiding within came from but I love it so much that I was helplessly crying in front of its dying brilliance.

"I love you," I whispered and sent every ounce of the hope I had left to it.

"In the dark," I felt so small, so weak in my attempt to restore a dying light. Oblivion pressed against the tiny thing I had become. It was so dark, it had always been dark, everywhere. Have I ever seen what 'not dark' looked like?

"In… the dark," I tighten my hold around the only light I could find within. And, at the same time I tried to send it as much of my light to conjure this darkness threatening to swallow both of us.

"I love you, so much," I cried, sobbing the last remains of warmth I had into the blue glow within. It throbbed and quivered and grew as I shrunk under the pressure that was crackling its way into my core.

"And the cold," I shivered, or whatever was left of me to shiver, did. It was freezing, all around; dark and icy cold. It bit onto my soul and ached through my core. I tore the emptiness all around with a last cry that died as soon as it started, since even the bitterness surrounding me wouldn't carry the sound.

"And the… cold," something blue within vibrated and glowed brighter. I sobbed. I was dying and I didn't care. I was just so sad that I wouldn't be there anymore to shelter this sparkle of life that deserved to shine as bright as a thousand supernovas. I would offer all the life that was left in me to bring back this ray of hope to the universe.

"'m never gonna leave you," I found myself whispering without understanding the meaning of the sound I made. A light within glowed brighter and I struggled to wake up from the dizzying weakness holding me captive.

"And the diamond," the shrilling sounds cut through the ramparts left to hold me as a whole, the voice piercing my soul with the sharpness of its edges. It shattered to pieces the parts of me that remained.

"And… the diamond…" I whispered with my last dying breath. And the last thing I noticed before I fell into nothingness was the darkness turning into a blue summer sky.

**Hope you enjoyed! The Doctor's POV should be written and posted soon... should...**


End file.
